have you found what i’m looking for?

I am looking for something I just can’t seem to find. It keeps eluding me.

I am looking for 30 minutes.

It seems that no matter what I do, I can’t quite finish completely. “If only I had another 30 minutes,” I wail internally. I could finish reading the newspaper, I could call a friend for a good visit, I could finish drying and folding this load of clothes, I could get a bit more needed sleep, I could file all those papers, I could cook dinner  –  I could write more.

But seriously, where are they?

I know we all have the same amount of time each day, and the difference is how we choose to spend it. I know some people (like me) have an illusional (delusional?) sense of all they can accomplish and no sense of how long tasks take to complete. I know we tend to dwell on what remains to be done instead of celebrating what has been done.

But where are those 30 minutes? Have you seen them?

Truth is, if I had another 30 minutes given to me each day, I would just want more. I would always be lingering in the present, giving a little bit more than needed to the current activity, and wanting things to be just a bit more perfect. It’s really not a time thing, but rather a personality thing.

Yet I’m still amazed when someone says, “I couldn’t think of anything to do.” Next time I hear that, I’ll say, “Find those 30 minutes for me, would you?”

7 thoughts on “have you found what i’m looking for?

  1. Yes, yes yes. TODAY, for the first time in MANY years, I have found that “time” you are searching for! Unfortunately, it is due to a flu that has knocked me for a loop and a cough that has kept me from school. I decided to use my time to read through all the SOLS posts and catch up on my own writing!

  2. Deb Day says:

    Love it—I’m always looking for time. I have discovered that sometimes if I set a timer for some activities (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest) it gives me more time for the things that really need to get done

  3. Two years and finishing strong... says:

    Sometimes I wonder how I did it when the kids were young and I was working with the crazies (MS). Just like you 30 min. more would just be so helpful. I think it is the lament of everyone that engages with life! XO

  4. BethHart says:

    Amen! I get it honestly, but this is my life every. single. day. I think this is one of my favorite pieces you’ve written… structured very nicely and written from a neat perspective. Well done!

  5. Judy C. says:

    And even when you are retired, there are days that those 30 minutes are elusive. I loved your line that even if you found those 30 minutes, you would only want more. Great post!

  6. newtreemom says:

    I’m always looking for those minutes, too. I try limiting some things by setting a timer so I can get back to things that need to be done, but I’m too prone to just add more minutes on the timer and keep reading, Pinterest, watching TV or whatever…

  7. LOL! I completely understand your lament! I feel the same way, especially when you say that you are “delusional” in thinking that you can do all that you want to do in a 24 hour day. I always think, “Oh, I can do that at home, and that, and that,” without realizing that when I get home I do not have another 8-hour work day. And, to be honest, I’m glad it’s that way. There’s a whole other world at home that demands and needs my attention. I’m only now, after over 25 years of teaching, learning to happily accept that reality :-).

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